Ways to Tell If You're Stuck in the 80's
1. Your fondest childhood memory is when Skippy
got his head stuck in the banister.
2. You relax by putting on your legwarmers and
dancing to the "Flashdance" soundtrack.
3. You think the two Coreys are "totally awesome."
4. You're still bitter that Wham! broke up.
5. Punky Brewster is your hero.
6. You type all of your term papers on a Commodore
64.
7. You still resent your parents for not installing
a dumbwaiter in you house like Webster's.
8. The only video games you play are Frogger
and Pac Man.
9. You're building your own Clockwork Smurf.
10. Your summer attire is Jellies and Jams.
11. A-ha's "Take on Me" is still your favorite
video.
12. You consider yourself truly, truly, truly
outrageous, much like Jem and the Holograms.
13. You wonder why more people don't wear high
heels, Jordache jeans and lacy white ankle socks.
14. You call all motorcycle cops "Ponch."
15. Every time you go to the beach you look
for Snorks.
16. You're still upset Madonna and Sean broke
up.
17. You know who Stinky Sullivan is.
18. You work out with "Get in Shape Girl."
19. You want to be Molly Ringwald when you grow
up.
20. You enjoy dancing on the ceiling and wearing
your sunglasses at night.
21. You know who Loverboy is.
22. You think there should be a Kids Incorporated
original cast reunion.
23. You think of Janet Jackson as "that girl
who used to date Willis."
24. You can sing the theme song to Small Wonder.
25. Every time you see a fountain you want to
dance around it and yell "Fame!"
26. You still have a shoebox full of Garbage
Pail Kid cards.
27. You write your congressman asking him to
introduce a bill to make "Born in the USA" the national anthem.
28. You still use your Snoopy Sno-cone Machine.
29. You know it's not "comma, comma, comma"
it's karma.
30. You stay up nights wondering what Bastian's
mother's name was in the "Never-ending Story."
31. You have nightmares about the Peculiar Purple
Pieman of Porcupine Peak.
32. You still practice your Care Bear stare.
33. You know that girls just wanna have fun-un.
34. You can name all of the Wuzzles.
35. You harbor a secret dream of being slimmed
by Alistair.
36. You can do the Safety Dance.
37. In your spare time you are writing the "Breakfast
Club 2."
38. You like to "connect the dots, la la la
la!"
39. Someone mentions Jennifer Beals and you
don't say "Who?"
40. Your prized possession is a collection of
"Return of the Jedi" Shrinky Dinks.
41. You know whose number is 867-5309.
42. You get depressed thinking about Anthony
Michael Hall's career.
43. You're starting a write-in campaign to MTV
to bring back Remote Control.
44. You drink Diet Coke because Max Headroom
told you to.
45. You consider Jo vs. Blair the major philosophical
conflict of the 20th century.
46. You have a duck phone and ride around your
house on a little train.
47. You want to be one of the Solid Gold dancers.
48. You still watch things on Beta.
49. You want to change your name to Rio and
dance on the sand.
50. Your favorite proverb is "some like it hot
and some sweat when the heat is on."
51. You always waited for the Sweet Pickles
Bus to visit your house.
52. Your favorite party game is Hungry, Hungry
Hippos.
53. You know that "Weird Science" was a movie
before a tv show.
54. You saw the New Kids on the Block when they
were Tiffany's opening act.
55. You liked Tom Hanks better when he was a
crossdresser.
56. You know which Hollywood Square Jim J. Bullock
was in.
57. You practice getting in and out of your
car through the windows.
58. You have the tendency to trun up the collar
of your polo shirts.
59. You're still wondering who really was the
boss.
60. You know what the "P" in Alex P. Keaton
stands for.
61. You keep asking your teacher's if instead
of the quiz you can take the physical challenge.
62. You organize weekend tournaments of TV tag.
63. You still drink New Coke.
64. When you watch "Terminator 2" you wonder
where Vincent is.
65. You know ALF's real name.
66. You never go out for a night on the town
without frosted blue eyeshadow and feathered bangs.
67. You can name all of the Thundercats.
68. You got a hankerin' for a hunk of cheese.
69. Everything in your wardrobe is either fluorescent
of pastel.
70. Your musical inspiration is Sonny Mann.
71. Sometimes you just want to shout, shout,
let it all out.
72. You're planning a dream vacation to Mepos.
73. You use your Speak and Spell to phone home.
74. You know the original members of Menudo.
75. Sometimes out of the blue you just got to
shake your love.
76. When you're stuck in traffic you tell your
car to engage Turbo Boost and are surprised when it doesn't talk back.
77. You remember when Vanessa sang kareoke to
"Locomotion."
78. You know that Mr. Steele functions best
in an advisory capacity.
79. People are constantly gagging you with spoons.
80. Your idea of appreciating ancient cultures
is "Walk Like an Egyptian."
81. The only thing you know about the Nazis
is that they threw Indy to the snakes.
82. You still use your hair crimper before going
out on a hot date.
83. You hatch plots to break Murdock out of
VA hospital.
84. You know which five people Serpentor's DNA
came from.
85. You have the "We Are the World" on 45.
86. You're still sending death threats to Mr.
Rubik.
87. You can feel St. Elmo's fire burning' in
you.
88. You watch NYPD Blue thinking, "Well they're
no Crockett and Tubbs, that's for sure!"
89. "Goonies" is your favorite movie of all
time!
90. You get thrown out of classical music concerts
after interrupting a Mozart piece yelling "Ooooo, rock me Amadeus!"
91. You still mourn the death of Rudy's goldfish,
Lamont.
92. If someone says, "Who are you gonna call?"
the first thing you say is "Ghostbusters."
93. When someone calls for someone more than
once in public, you start saying, "Bueller, Bueller, Bueller."
(No, I didn't write this list. As far as i know it is public domain
humor. But I thought it was cool.)
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