Cool Quotes…

Irony

“If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows crashed… Oh wait! He does!”
“In Washington, they’re talking about “accountability” in public schools … When do you suppose we’re going to pass a law demanding accountability in our government?” -Jeff Scherer (Top 5 High School Mini List Moderator)
“The never ending story ended”
“There are only three kinds of people; people who can count and people who can’t”
“Some people type so fast that forget to include”
“The shortest path between two points is usually under construction.”
“I’m extraordinarily patient provided I get my own way in the end.” -Margaret Thatcher

“Sorry man, but there’s two people in this world I trust–one’s me, the other’s not you.” -Nicolas Cage in The Rock
“You can’t even be honest about being dishonest. Arg.” -Regina from the movie Charade
Daniel Kaffee: “I want the truth!” Col. Nathan R. Jessup: “You can’t handle the truth!” -A Few Good Men

“Contrary to the popular myth, the CSE graduate student is not necessarily a four-eyed physical wreck, attached to a Sun workstation playing XPilot or chesstool until the earliest hours of the morning.” – UCSD CSE Dept. Grad Student Handbook (Yes, this is an ACTUAL quote)
“Why do professors still say 10-15 pages? Why can’t they just say nine pages with five lines on the tenth page?”

“There is no remedy for love but to love more.” -Henry David Thoreau
“Love is not blind – it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.” -Rabbi Julius Gordon
“Don’t marry someone you could live with; marry someone you couldn’t live without.” -from Ally McBeal
“Attraction is a three way street–or is it a one way tunnel?” -Kelly on Married With Children
On Love… “I’ve gone through a few stages, and i spect [sic] a few more to come, of changing perceptions of “what it’s all about,” where I learn that what I thought wasn’t what I really wanted and what I really needed wasn’t what I though I needed, and whatever it was, it wasn’t what I thought it was. I’m sure you know what I mean.” -Henry Reed
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” -from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (New International Version)
“Marriage is like pi – natural, irrational, and very important.” -Lisa Hoffman

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead. -from Animaniacs
“It’s not knowing what you want. it’s knowing how to get it”
I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken and I’d rather remember how it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived. -Gone With The Wind (ch. 63)

“Maybe she’s an alien. Maybe she’s from Chernobyl. Either way, none of the boys are complaining about that 3rd breast growing out of her forehead.” -Topfive.Com’s Little Fivers / High School, March 20, 2001
As part of “The Top 16 Famous Quotes from Redneck Movies”… 16> “Luke, I am your father… and your uncle… and your first and second cousin, your nephew…” -The Top 5 List www.topfive.com

“I have no life, only e-mail” – The Norm
Ford:”Dude that is so pathetic. You need to get a life” Norm: “Why? I have a T-1 Internet Connection” -The Norm
“Hey! I hate these Microsoft guys! What a rotten compiler! It only accepts 16,384 local variables in a function!”
“To understand recursion, you must first understand recursion.”

“Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.” -Frank Lloyd Wright
“The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco” -Mark Twain
“Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.” -John F. Kennedy
“West of the moon, East of the sun.” -J.R.R. Tolkein

“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.” -Wayne Dyer
“Friends will get you through times of little sleep better than sleep will get you through times of few friends.”
“Paradise is exactly like where you are right now…only much, much better” – Laurie Anderson
“We act as though comforts and luxury were the chief requirements in life, when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about.” -Charles Kingsley
Don’t frown, you never know who’s falling in love with your smile -Jenna
“Jealousy is not about what the other person is getting, it’s about what you’re not getting.”
“Spend five minutes at the beginning of each day remembering all people want the same thing–to be happy and loved. Extend this attitude to everyone we meet during the day.”

“You can’t assess the future if you’re living in the past” – Don’t Sell Me Short / Bad Religion

“How did it get so late so soon, It’s night before it’s afternoon, September’s here before it’s June, My how the time has flewn, How did it get so late so soon.” -Dr. Seuss
“Indecision is the key to flexibility. I am *very* flexible.”
“There is no point in paying other people to screw things up when you can easily screw them up yourself for far less money.” -Dave Barry, “The Taming of the Screw”
“Follow your dreams……..except for that one where you’re at school in your underwear”
“100,000 Lemmings can’t be wrong”
“I’m going to turn around for one minute, and when I turn back around I expect whoever turned off summer to have turned it back on again.”
“On one hand, I’m indecisive; but on the other, I’m not.”
“You can’t do this, but say I put 1000 people in one spot…” -Physics Prof. Paar
“The trouble with normal is it always gets worse.” -Bruce Cockburn
“He who laughs last didn’t get it.” -Helen Giangregorio
“When one door closes, […], another one opens. Following disappointment lies the possibility of a new beginning.” -James Hollis
“I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.” -Frank Lloyd Wright
“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.” -Walt Disney
“This song is about being a day late and a dollar short–which is the story of my life” -Lead Singer of Social Distortion
“There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.” -Henry Kissinger