UCSD Quotes and Humor

These quotes were all said by actual ucsd students, employees, or faculty. Probably of highest entertainment value for CSE majors, but anyone is welcome to enjoy.

"If you are a CSE major (senior/junior) and I don't know you...you prolly don't exist." -Bernard

i'll give you advice on compilers. yeah? yea, commit suicide now. save yourself the hassle" -Eric

"i haven't really even met any guys in cs that were even *normal* yet so..." -Nick

Signs you're at UCSD: #317 Nobdody notices or cares that its saint patricks day: I just finished writing for two hours and fifty five minutes straight. I've only had about an hour of sleep. If someone comes up to me and says, "Hey, you're not wearing green!" and pinches me, that person had better hope that I really really like him or her, because otherwise, it's a "You pinch me you DIE" kind of thing right now. -Julia

"Ok so I saw not one, not two, but three totally breathtakingly beautiful boys on campus today... WTF is going on.... this is UCSD. not an abercrombie catalog.. the students are supposed to be beat.. (and most of them are)"

things to do in pleasanton = O(log(hot girls at ucsd)) -Adam

"There is no comfort in the perfectly paved, 4-lane-wide boulevards that straddle this town ... I no longer crave the sterility of Borders or Stoneridge Mall. I'd rather take the hustle-and-bustle of the (high-)Price(d) Center. UCSD may be an overpopulated mess, but it's MY overpopulated mess. And it's not crawling with PeopleSoft buildings that reprouduce every 8 months" -Carlo

There is this asian club on campus, or something. and they always have parties. So they stand out there on the sidewalk and hand out flyers, but only to asian people. this makes me feel bad. how would the campus react if there was a "white people" club and they did the same? i dislike racial segregation. -Student

The Hawaiian shirts, sandals and shorts go away, and the shelves are instead filled with pants, parkas, jackets, scarves, and other warm wooly looking things. I understand that these are the items of clothing that the fashion world has deemed appropriate for the fall and winter months. There's just one problem: this is $$$$ SAN DIEGO. We are not Boston. This is not Chicago, Detroit, or Minneapolis. I don't care how cold it is here, because it is NEVER cold enough to wear a scarf in San Diego. Ever. Bring back the $$$$ shorts, t-shirts and sandals! -Student

For those of you who received a hard copy on Friday, you may notice that the title is "CS260 Section - Notes on Debugging". Just to clarify, this is CS134A. If you are actually in CS260 and NOT in CS134A, and you're reading this bulletin board, please go out and get a life. -Prof. Elkan

"I bet AP&M gets better weekend attendance than RIMAC Arena ... " -Carlo

If life were easy, we'd never learn. -Mike

Note to self: start a clothing store that sells shorts, sandals and t-shirts in the "fall" and "winter" months in San Diego. You'll make millions! What the $$$$, we have no seasons here! We have the "sunny" season. -Student

Pepper Canyon Apartments, which appear in density and style more like a suburban residential compound than college housing; -planning.ucsd.edu

"School... because Satan couldn't wait till you were dead" -John

"then i went home for winter break...oh my gosh, 3 weeks without my computer. i nearly died." -Esther

considering UCSD has the lowest percentage of cute girls of any college I've ever been to... well...wait, nevermind. I looked at ITT tech's OC campus with my friend one time. that was worse -Ed

I think I realized I was too tired to study productively when I started writing my function "is_uppercase_number()" for my compilers project... lol...wtf is an upper case number? anyhow, i'm taking that as my cue that it's bedtime. goodnight -Jessica

The Colleges Explained

Someone forwareded me this joke about why people picked their college at ucsd. Kinda amusing, it has some degree of truth to it :)

Advertised as: The Sciences College
True Agenda: To be your personality-type-A parent away from home.
Your Reasoning for Choosing It: "I hate myself."
Advertised as: The Easy College
True Agenda: Instilling a facade of liberalism.
Your Reasoning for Choosing It: "I looked on a map, and it was the closest to the beach."
Advertised as: The Diversity College
True Agenda: Drawing attention away from our 40% caucasian, 39% asian, 2% hispanic, 2% african-american stats
Your Reasoning for Choosing It: "Maybe I can see RIMAC hotties from my window."
Advertised as: The Engineering College
True Agenda: An ecological niche experiment, pitting humans against rabbits.
Your Reasoning for Choosing It: "I bet they have LAN parties."
Advertised as: The International College
True Agenda: "Study abroad. Please. Get the hell out, and quit taking up our parking and housing."
Your Reasoning for Choosing It: People don't choose Roosevelt.
Advertised as: The Arts and Technology College
True Agenda: World domination. NeoTokyo rules.
Your Reasoning for Choosing It: Get-out-of-Davis Free Pass

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